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Guidelines & Legalese

FetLife's guidelines, privacy policy, legal info, etc.

Dark Fantasy Pushing

If a member wants to discuss a dark fantasy with another member in private, they first need to ask the other member for consent to do so. If a member does not first ask for consent, it falls under this guideline.

What is in violation of this guideline?

We consider it dark fantasy pushing when one member sends another member a private message about their dark fantasies without first asking for consent or asking if the other person is into the potential topic of conversation.

Examples include, but are not limited to:

  • Potential CNC fantasies
  • Potential non-consensual fantasies
  • Potential fantasies involving humans and non-humans
  • Potential dark ageplay fantasies
  • Extreme violent fantasies

What is not in violation of this guideline?

Examples include:

  • Simply asking a member if they are interested in the topic
  • Reporter initially consented, participated, and then reported it
  • Non-violent sexual fantasies

If you receive a private message from someone and you do not want to engage with them, you can choose to revoke consent directly from the open message. You can also customize your inbox privacy settings to better curate your experience on-site.

How do I report a potential violation of this guideline?

You can report material that is potentially in violation of this guideline as follows:

On Desktop or Mobile:

  1. Visit the private conversation with the infringing content
  2. Select "Report"
  3. Select "Content Not Permitted"
  4. Select “Send a copy of this private conversation with your report…”
  5. Select "Next"
  6. Provide why you believe the material should not be allowed
  7. Select "Report"

For more general information on reporting, please visit: Submitting a Report.

Who can report a potential violation of this guideline?

Anyone who receives a private message that they believe contains dark fantasy pushing.

What happens if someone violates this guideline?

If we believe the reported content is in violation of this guideline, the person is first given a warning and educated on consent.

After a member gets three warnings, they are given a one-day timeout on the fourth violation of this guideline. For each subsequent violation, the person's timeout increases in length, up to a maximum of a one-week timeout.