FetLife

BDSM & fetish community
for kinksters by kinksters.

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Friends and Relationships

How do I add/delete a friend? (direct link)

To add a friend, go to that person’s profile and on the top right hand side of the profile, under the "Message Kinkster" button, you will see an "Add to My Friends" button. Click the button and a pop-up box will appear. Just read and follow the instructions and you should be good.

If you have the proper email notification setting turned on you will get an email when your friend accepts your friend request.

To delete a friend, go to that person’s profile and on the top right hand side of the profile, under the "Message Kinkster" button, you will see an "We are Friends (x)" button. Click the "x", and your "friend" relationship will be terminated. Any relationship statuses you may have had with the person will be deleted as well (since you can only be in a relationship with a friend).

Blocking a person will also delete a "friend" relationship

How do I add/change/delete a relationship with someone else? (direct link)

Adding, changing and deleting a relationship with someone else on FetLife is easy (you're on your own for the real-life stuff!!!!)  To edit or delete your relationships with someone else, click on your nickname in the upper right hand side of your browser window.  That pops up a drop down box.  Click on the "Edit Profile" link.  From there, you'll see a tab in the middle marked "Relationships in".  The tab has two different types of relationships: "Relationships" and "D/s Relationships".  You can add, edit, or delete those relationships on this screen. This only changes the relationships in *your* profile.

Please note, in order to have a relationship with someone, you have to be "friends" on FetLife first before you can have a relationship "benefit".  Also, if you delete someone as a friend, any existing relationships with that person are deleted on both sides.

Belive it or not, there are some "friends" out there who say on their profile that they are in a relationship with you without your permission!  Yeah, I know, that happens in real life too sometimes.  There was this one... umm, that story is for another day.  But on FetLife there is something you can do about it!  Go to that person's profile, and hover your mouse (the pointer, not the mouse itself...) over the relationship with you.  You'll notice a "x delete" link appear to the right, and from there, you can delete the relationship!

I can't update my relationship! (direct link)
So you can't update your relationship?  That sucks, and not in a good way!

Unfortunately, it seems that the AOL branded version of Internet Explorer doesn't always want to play nicely with FetLife.  Try to see if it works for you in a different browser like for example Google Chrome or Mozilla Firefox.

If this doesn't help, please shoot us an email at support@fetlife.com!
Why can't I search by age/sex/etc? (direct link)
Since FetLife is a social network and not a dating site, we've opted to not include search filters like that. I mean we probably have more hot female members who are willing to take their clothes off than pretty much any other website out there... And it's all because we don't make it as easy for horny guys to find them without some commonality. Obviously that's just one example of why we do what we do, but I hope you see where we're coming from. :-)

As a social network, we encourage people to get active in discussions, love pictures, and go out to events in your local area. There is a real kickass community here so have fun! Meeting people of a certain age/sex/cock or tit size/etc. will happen naturally when you are getting yourself out there. 

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