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Guidelines & Legalese

FetLife's guidelines, privacy policy, legal info, etc.

Body Shaming

FetLife is meant to be a welcoming place for all members of the community, no matter your body's physical appearance or abilities.

Body shaming another member to attack them, in public or private, is not permitted.

What is considered Body Shaming?

Body shaming includes but is not limited to:

  • Weight, shape, size, and height shaming (e.g. fat and thin shaming)
  • Breast or genital shaming (e.g. small/large breasts, small/large penis)
  • Hair and Hairiness shaming (e.g. too much or lack thereof)
  • Muscularity shaming (e.g. too much or lack thereof)
  • Body modification shaming (e.g. tattoos, piercings, genital modifications)
  • Diseases that leave a physical mark shaming (e.g. psoriasis)
  • Physical disability shaming (ex. amputation, birth defects)
  • Scar shaming (e.g. burns, surgery scars)

What is in violation of this guideline?

Examples include, but are not limited to:

  • Non-consensually body shaming another member (to attack them)

What is not in violation of this guideline?

Examples include:

  • When body shaming oneself
  • Having an intellectual discussion (e.g. health and fitness)
  • Stating personal body preferences without attacking another member
  • Doing this in a consensual way when it’s clear this is part of someone’s kink
  • Tit-for-tat body shaming

How do I report a potential violation of this guideline?

You can report potential body shaming as follows:

  1. Visit the page with the potentially offensive material
  2. Select "...", “more”, or “options”
  3. Select “Report”
  4. Select "Content Not Permitted"
  5. Select "Next"
  6. Add any additional information that you think is important
  7. Select "Report"

For more information, you can refer to Submitting a Report.

Who can report a potential violation of this guideline?

Anyone who comes across content they believe might fall under this guideline.

If it’s not clear if this is not part of someone’s kink or fetish, the person being body-shamed will need to report the content.

What happens if someone violates this guideline?

If someone goes out of their way to non-consensually body shame another member, the content is removed, and the person is given a one-day timeout.

For each subsequent violation, the person's time-out increases in length, up to a maximum of a two-week timeout. They also risk permanently losing their account.

When people are going back and forth matching energy (i.e. tit for tat), the content is removed, and the reported member(s) get a warning. We do this to encourage people to have civil disagreements and to de-escalate the situation.