How do I change my Inbox Privacy Settings?
You can change the privacy of your inbox at any time in the "Inbox" section of your Privacy settings.
Who can message you
- Navigate to your Privacy settings
- Scroll down to the "Inbox" section
- Under "Who can message you," pick one of the 4 options
- Select "Activate"
Each option shows where a new conversation from each kind of member ends up:
- Open (the default): everyone can message you, and new conversations go to your Inbox.
- Kinky: people you follow go to your Inbox. People following you and everyone else come in as a Message Request.
- Hardcore: people you follow go to your Inbox. People following you come in as a Message Request. Everyone else can't send you a new conversation.
- Strict: people you follow come in as a Message Request. People following you and everyone else can't send you a new conversation.
Friends always go to your Inbox.
A Message Request lands in your Requests folder. You can accept it by replying with "Accept & Say It!", or select "Reject."
People without avatars and people who aren't verified
Below the 4 options, you can choose what happens when a new conversation comes from:
- "People without avatars (excluding friends and people you follow)"
- "People who aren't verified (excluding friends and people you follow)"
For each one, choose "Inbox," "Message Request," or "Can't Send." When more than one of your settings applies to someone, we use the strictest one. For example, if your inbox is set to "Open" but people without avatars is set to "Message Request," a new conversation from someone without an avatar comes in as a message request.
Who can send you pictures, videos, GIFs, and voice messages
Under "Who can send you attachments in PMs?" you'll find two settings:
- "Voice messages"
- "Pictures, videos & GIFs"
For each one, choose "All FetLifers" (the default), "Friends and People I Follow," "Friends Only," or "No One." Changes save right away.
"Pictures, videos & GIFs" covers videos too.
These settings apply to one-on-one conversations. In group conversations, everyone can send pictures, GIFs, and voice messages, and videos when at least one person in the conversation is a Supporter.
Any picture or video you receive appears blurry until you click on it.
See who's typing
Turn on "See who's typing" to see when others are typing to you, and let others see when you're typing to them, in private conversations.
Who can always message you
Inbox privacy settings do not apply to:
- Friends
- Leaders of groups you're a member of
- Organizers of upcoming events you've RSVPed to
- Members you have a mutual crush with
- Members you've replied to in a one-on-one conversation
- Members of the FetLife Team
To stop a specific member from messaging you, see How did someone bypass my inbox privacy settings?
If you have any other questions please email support@fetlife.com and we'll be happy to help!