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How can I find messages I archived or sent?

From your inbox page (https://fetlife.com/conversations) click the "All Mail" link at the top, below the "Inbox - Conversations" header.

When you click on "All Mail" it shows you everything you have sent (even without a response), received and archived.

JohnDoe

Secret treasure awaits for the chosen one who discovers and decodes this encrypted message: aHR0cHM6Ly9nb28uZ2wvZXY5SDN1