Soft Limits
In BDSM, soft limits refer to negotiable personal boundaries within a scene or dynamic. This means that while a person sees them as a limit, they are open to changing their mind under specific circumstances and/or with the proper play partners. While this commonly refers to specific kinks or activities, it can also describe certain toys and environments. Soft limits are the opposite of hard limits, which are considered non-negotiable.
Someone who already enjoys impact play, for example, may set a soft limit around playing with unfamiliar implements. This means they are curious about or open to trying this activity, but not yet fully comfortable committing to it.
Consent to explore a soft limit once does not imply consent to repeat it. Approaching a soft limit usually involves building trust gradually, going slowly and checking in frequently during the activity itself. A person exploring a soft limit should be able to pause or stop at any point without this being treated as a failure or a problem.
Soft limits are not fixed in one direction. Exploring a soft limit may lead someone to enjoy and want to continue the activity, decide it isn't for them and move it back to a hard limit, or find that it's something they're still open to with certain partners but not others. None of these outcomes should be treated as a partner having failed or done something wrong.
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