Eating Disorders
An eating disorder (ED) is a behavioral health condition involving food, often with an unhealthy focus on weight. Some common eating disorders include:
- Anorexia Nervosa: Characterized by restriction of the intake of food relative to the body’s requirement leading to significant weight loss.
- Binge Eating Disorder: Episodes of eating large amounts of food in a short amount of time while feeling out of control. This is often followed by feelings of guilt and shame.
- Bulimia Nervosa: Binge-eating episodes followed by vomiting, laxatives, fasting, or over-exercising to "compensate" for the calories consumed.
Eating Disorders & Kink
- ED recovery and kink can go hand in hand with activities such as power exchange or degradation offering (some people) a controlled, healthy and consensual outlet.
Just like anything, communication, education and boundaries are what makes this work. ED recovery can be fun, safe, and sexy when handled in a safe, sane, consensual way.
Online spaces can sometimes reinforce disordered behavior. This is why FetLife's Content Guidelines include guidelines about content involving eating disorders.
Many people who are open about having, or having had, an eating disorder report experiencing predatory or exploitative behavior. There have also been cases where individuals have posed as running support or recovery spaces—sometimes even pro-eating-disorder groups—while encouraging disordered behaviors. This is sometimes done for sexual or exploitative reasons.
The fetishization of eating disorders, such as anorexia nervosa, can be deeply harmful. It can minimize the seriousness of these conditions and the very real risks they carry.
Eating Disorders & Sex
Eating disorders, particularly when they lead to reduced body weight, can negatively impact libido, often meaning people lose their libido and do not desire to have sex. This can be different depending on the eating disorder; people with bulimia tend to have less impact to their libido, while people with anorexia may report complete loss of libido.
As well as impact on libido, sex may be something people with eating disorders just want to avoid. Sex usually means being naked, being seen and seeing bodies. As eating disorders impact body image, this can make people want to avoid intimate relations.
Eating Disorders & Relationships
Eating disorders are known to have an impact on relationships, often causing a strain. Wanting your partner to get better while it seems they may fight against that or be unable to admit there is a problem can be upsetting for all involved.
They can also cause strain on money which is not ideal in a relationship. Those with episodes of bingeing could unfortunately add to costs. So can treatment.
It is not your fault as a partner or friend that your person has an eating disorder. Being kind and patient can really help. Listen to your person and their experience to to better understand what they are going through.
Eating Disorders & Identity
Eating disorders warp identity. It becomes intertwined into who you are as a person, and people may lose who they are without it. This make recovery difficult.
Resources
Australia
Canada
- National Eating Disorder Information Centre (NEDIC) 1-866-633-4220
Germany
- Bundeszentrale für gesundheitliche Aufklärung (BZgA) +49221892031
Netherlands
- Luisterlijn voor eetstoornis +3188 0767 000
- Collection of 22 heathcare centers with specialized care
UK
- Beat Eating Disorders 0845 634 1414
USA
- National Eating Disorders Association 1-800-931-2237
- Project HEAL
- ANAD
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