Flirting

Flirting is playful communication that expresses attraction or appreciation, often through flattery, teasing, or sexual implication, without necessarily being a direct invitation.

Flirting is often used to "test the waters," but it can also be a playful way to show someone you find them attractive or appealing, without expecting anything in return.

Flirting is primarily verbal or in text, but it can also include consensual touch and light gestures of play, such as a spank ("You may spank it once!"), tickle, or pinch. But physical flirting requires a little more care. Flirting or sexual banter by itself does not mean someone has consented to be touched. Physical gestures should only enter the interaction when they are clearly welcome or have been agreed to.

The act of flirting can easily become a come-on or invitation to something more, but it's most often intended as an expression of interest. For example, a homosexual man could flirt with a heterosexual man. Even if the heterosexual man has no sexual interest in the homosexual man, he may still enjoy the attention and flattery.

Flirting also does not necessarily require an explicit agreement to flirt beforehand. Someone may test the waters with a compliment, joke, tease, or suggestive comment and then pay attention to whether the other person returns a similar energy. A lack of reciprocation, visible discomfort, pulling away, changing the subject, or asking someone to stop are all signals not to continue or escalate the interaction.

Related Terms

• Tease
• Consent