Red Flag/Green Flag

The terms red flag and green flag are used to indicate behavior that a person considers problematic (red), or very positive (green) in a BDSM context. It can be used to highlight certain behaviors and also act as a warnings about certain behaviors. These behaviors are independent of what role a person may have and both top and bottom roles can have these behaviors.

What constitutes a red or green flag is a personal opinion based on the ethics, norms, and values of the person giving the valuation. However, it is often good to take them into consideration and measure them against your own ethics, norms and values. Sometimes flags are very clear, other times it is very much based on context and deeper conversations.

Ambiguity of the Red/Green Flag System

In some conversations, people may label a behavior as a red or green flag (mostly happens with red flags). This can done be as a warning, but it can also be used to push a person's opinion and/or preference. While there are flags that many people agree to be green or red, there are also many gray areas.

Is it a red flag when an older male is playing with a younger female? Or could they both have a matching preference and are both consenting to the play?

Is it a green flag when a person is actively approaching new people in the community and offers to help them find their way? Or are they using their position of relative power to connect with new people and use their lack of knowledge against them to feed them information that suits them?

Examples of Red and Green Flags

Clear Red Flag:

Will insist on not using a safe word, even if the other person wishes to use one as this is the first time they are having a scene.

Clear Green Flag:

Will have an extensive conversation about safe word usage and will want to make an extra effort to ensure that everyone's needs are taken into account before starting a scene.

Unclear "Gray" Flag:

Plays while intoxicated.

Note that in this last example, whether the behavior is red or green is unclear because some people have a preference for some level of intoxication. When all parties involved consent this can be very much OK, which makes this a gray area.