ABCD
ABCD, short for “Anyone But Cis Dudes,” is informal LGBTQ+ slang for a dating or sexual preference that excludes cisgender men. Depending on the person using it, ABCD may refer to who they are attracted to, who they are willing to date or have sex with, or simply a boundary against dating cis men. Groups or events may also use it to indicate that cis men are not included.
Origins of the Term ABCD
ABCD appears to have developed as informal queer and trans community slang in the late 2010s. It was being used online by at least 2019, when a trans woman described her sexuality as “ABCD” on a popular Instagram post.
By 2020, ABCD was circulating as shorthand for dating preferences on Reddit and other forums.
ABCD has since been adopted by queer social groups, sports leagues, and other organizations. In 2025, LGBTQ+ dating app HER introduced an “ABCD” flagging feature for its Sapphic Mode. It explicitly used the phrase “Anyone But Cis Dudes” for a space intended for queer women, trans people, and nonbinary people.
Controversy
Some trans men object to ABCD because it can place trans men in a separate category from cis men. For example, someone who says they will date women, nonbinary people, and trans men—but never cis men—may leave a trans male partner wondering why being trans makes him an exception.
Critics argue that this can sometimes reflect assumptions that trans men are more like women, inherently safer than cis men, or have particular bodies or life experiences.
However, people who use ABCD may have very different reasons for doing so. This can include past trauma, safety concerns, discomfort with heterosexual relationship norms, or a preference for queer partners.
Related Terms
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