Amatonormativity

Amatonormativity is the idea that a romantic, monogamous relationship is the “default,” or most important kind of connection. In kink contexts, it's often seen as a limiting cultural bias that can:

• Marginalize dynamics like platonic partnerships, polyamory, play-only relationships, or solo kink.
• Make it harder for people to value or prioritize connections that aren't romantic/monogamous.
• Make people feel that kink partners should also be romantic or sexual partners, even when that’s not the intent.

Origins of the Term

The term was coined by philosopher Elizabeth Brake in her 2012 book "Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law." The term combines "amato," Latin for "beloved" or "love," and "normativity," the idea that something is a socially enforced standard. Brake's book was a critique of cultural and legal systems that prioritize romantic, monogamous partnerships over other connections.

Related Terms

• Aromantic
• Queerplatonic Relationship
• Polyamory
• Platonic Partner