Rape Play
Trigger Warning: mention of sexual assault, fantasies of sexual assault and simulation of sexual assault.
Rape play is a type of kink or BDSM play that consensually simulates the act of rape or sexual assault between two people. The goal is to fulfill a fantasy situation that is still built on consent between the people involved. Rape play is sometimes part of and related to consensual non-consent (CNC) dynamics.
Note that "rape play" and "rape" are not the same thing, and should not be used interchangeably.
Why People Are Into It
There are many different reasons why people are into rape play, both from the Top and the bottom side of this dynamic. It can be part of people's fantasies surrounding power exchange or total power exchange.
As a Top, the total control, struggle, and pain caused to the recipient can be exciting.
As a bottom, the same elements can be very attractive where loss of control, being overpowered and a genuine feeling or sensation can be created.
Rape Play as Trauma Processing
People may also use rape play to re-live traumatic experiences stemming from rape or sexual assault in an environment where they have made the choice to experience it. This can be triggering and result in negative scenarios, but this is part of what is discussed and prepared beforehand with the people involved.
For trauma survivors, the experience of rape play as a bottom can be extreme. The same can be true for the Top that is supporting the person using rape play as part of their healing process. Be aware of what this can do to the people involved.
Safety and Consent
People who engage in rape play are often long-term partners and have a well-established connection and understanding of each other's boundaries and behaviors. There is a level of trust needed to engage in rape play, and many conversations around consent should happen before the fantasy is ever acted upon.
Rape play is a form of emotional edgeplay and can involve both emotional and physical harm. The play itself cannot be done in a 100% safe manner, but can be made safe(r) through negotiation, putting fail-safes in place, and providing proper aftercare.
Like with other forms of CNC, it is highly advised not to engage in rape play in group settings, as it can be very triggering to others as well.
Controversy
Due to it's relation to and simulation of actual sexual assault, there is a lot of controversy and taboo about the subject of rape play. From fetishization of victims of sexual assault, to fetishization of the act of rape, rape play sparks debate about the ethics of this type of play. Even so, it is a legitimate fantasy for many people, and some people really enjoy the practice. The preference and negotiation is highly personal, and therefore hard to judge from the outside.
The use of rape play as a way for people to process trauma's is also controversial. There is no scientific backing that exposure therapy like this would work for processing sexual assault. It also isn't something that can be supported or guided by licensed mental healthcare professionals.
Resources
When dealing with genuine rape or sexual assault, please find more resources on the sexual assault resources page.
Related Terms
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