Neglect Play
Neglect play, also known as ignore play, is a BDSM activity in which one person deliberately ignores, disregards, or withholds attention from another as part of a kink scene. It often involves a Dominant/submissive dynamic, where the submissive enjoys being made to feel ignored, unimportant, or undeserving of their Dominant's attention.
Neglect play can take many forms. A Dominant might:
- Ignore their submissive's attempts to get their attention.
- Refuse to acknowledge their presence.
- Carry on with other activities while the submissive waits.
- Remain completely indifferent or unresponsive while their submissive engages in sexual activity with them.
Why People Are Into Neglect Play
For some people, neglect play is a form of erotic humiliation or degradation. Being ignored can reinforce feelings of submission, helplessness, or insignificance. For others, the appeal comes from anticipation, frustration, or the excitement of trying to earn a partner's attention or approval.
Neglect play can also overlap with objectification, abandonment play, and other forms of psychological BDSM.
Safety and Consent
Although neglect play involves pretending not to care about or acknowledge a partner, it requires mutual consent and clear boundaries. Partners should agree on the activities involved, how long the neglect will last, and how either person can stop the scene. A lack of response during sexual activity should never be interpreted as consent, and safety signals must always be acknowledged.
Because this type of play can provoke strong emotional reactions, reassurance and aftercare may be particularly important afterward.
Related Terms
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