Monoamorous
Monoamorous describes someone who desires or prefers to have only one romantic relationship at a time. Unlike monogamy, monoamory refers specifically to romantic attachment and does not necessarily say anything about sexual exclusivity. A monoamorous person distinguishes romantic relationships from other intimate connections that don't carry that same weight, even when those other connections include deep friendship, physical affection, or sex.
A monoamorous person may be completely monogamous, or they may participate in ethical non-monogamy while maintaining only one romantic relationship. For example, they might have sexual, sensual, or other non-romantic connections with multiple people while considering only one person a romantic partner.
Momonamory can often look like:
- One romantic partner, other sexual/companionate partners: A single romantic relationship coexists with other ongoing connections that are sexual and/or emotionally close, but not romantic. This is the most common form of monoamory.
- Reciprocal monoamory: Both people in a couple are monoamorous with each other, while each independently maintains outside connections that are non-romantic.
Origins of the Term Monoamorous
Monoamory appears to have emerged within early polyamory communities as a counterpart to polyamory. The adjective monoamorous is documented in a polyamory Usenet discussion from 1992, showing that the term was already in use online by that point.
The term provided an alternative to monogamy, whose roots refer specifically to having one marriage. Monoamory, built from "mono" (“one”) and "amor" (“love”), instead emphasizes having or preferring one romantic love or relationship at a time. Polyamory glossaries later adopted this distinction, and by the mid-2000s researchers were explicitly describing monoamorous as a more precise counterpart to polyamorous.
Monoamory Q&A
What's the difference between monoamory and mono-poly?
Monoamory describes an individual’s romantic orientation or preference, while mono-poly describes a relationship structure. A monoamorous person does not need to be in a mono-poly relationship. Two monoamorous people can also practice non-monogamy while remaining each other’s only romantic partner.
What is the difference between monogamy and monoamory?
Monoamory and monogamy are often used to mean essentially the same thing: having one romantic or sexual partner at a time. But monoamory is sometimes preferred in polyamory communities because it was formed as the direct opposite of polyamory and emphasizes romantic relationship structure rather than marriage. Historically, however, monogamy has broadened well beyond its literal “one marriage” roots and is commonly used for unmarried exclusive relationships too.
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