Slave
In BDSM, a slave is usually person who gives up total control to someone who they are in an agreed-upon dynamic and/or relationship with. The term slave is not gender specific. You can use “female slave” or “male slave” to make a distinction between genders.
While all slaves are submissive, the term often implies a deeper level of authority granted to the dominant partner, sometimes called a Master.
In these dynamics, the slave may agree to give the Dominant significant influence over aspects of their life, such as behavior, appearance, routines, or other personal choices. But these arrangements are still based on consensual agreements and negotiated boundaries.
The term is often used to signal a strong commitment to service and authority within the dynamic, rather than a universally defined set of rules. What “slave” means can vary widely between individuals and relationships.
Slave is a self-chosen BDSM identity, not a level that someone "graduates" to by submitting enough. Some people use it to express ownership, devotion, service, or extensive power exchange. Others may practice equally intense submission and strongly prefer never to use the word.
Slave in Core BDSM
In traditional BDSM/Core BDSM, slave may have a narrower meaning: a submissive who consensually enters a Total Authority Transfer with a Master or Mistress, giving them broad authority over their life.
The agreement is negotiated in advance, and the slave’s ultimate recourse is to withdraw consent from the dynamic itself. Despite the language of ownership, this is a consensual relationship and is not equivalent to historical slavery or coercion.
Controversy Around Using the Term "Slave"
The word slave comes with a lot of historical and racial baggage. In BDSM, it describes a consensual role, not actual slavery. But that does not mean the history of the word disappears.
These concerns are not new. Black, Indigenous, and other kink writers and scholars have been discussing the racial and colonial baggage of BDSM language and power dynamics for years. By the mid-2010s, this was increasingly being discussed through ideas such as “decolonizing kink” — questioning how race, colonialism, slavery, and Western ideas about power shape BDSM culture.
People do not all agree on what to do about this. Some kinksters avoid Master/slave language entirely or use different terms for their power exchange. Others feel that consent changes the meaning of the words and that BDSM can reclaim or give them a new meaning.
The term can be especially complicated for Black kinksters and people whose communities have histories of slavery or colonial oppression. As a result, some submissives strongly reject the word slave because of its historical associations.
Because of the baggage it carries, slave is best treated as a self-chosen identity.
Why People Are Into It
People are drawn to the slave role for different reasons. Here are a few common ones:
Freedom from Responsibility
Giving another person authority over decisions can feel relieving. Some people like the freedom from responsibility, and see following instructions and serving their Master as a simple state of being. Some people also like being able to trust their Master to handle difficult decisions.
Service
For some, slavery represents a deeper form of dedication to one particular person. Serving a Master can be a form of devotion.
Ownership and Belonging
For some people, the word slave better captures the sense of belonging to another person than submissive does. For them, the idea of being someone's property can feel meaningful.
Care and Protection
The other side of surrender can be feeling deeply cared for. Masters can be strict as well as loving, protective, and invested in their slaves' development.
Structure and Obedience
For some people, obedience is not merely something they tolerate in exchange for other kink; it is a major part of what they enjoy. Rules, routines, expectations, and knowing what is expected can be satisfying in their own right.
Related Terms
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