Key Party
A key party, also known as a fishbowl party or key bowl party, is a swingers event in which one partner from each couple places their keys in a bowl. Participants then randomly draw a set of keys, and the owner of the matching keys becomes their partner for the evening.
The concept has also been applied to BDSM parties and even taken on a chastity-based theme, where the keys exchanged are the keys to a chastity device.
Occasionally, other objects besides keys are used, such as matching numbers, puzzle pieces, or any other method in which people can be paired off in a random way. In some cases, couples expect to play together sexually. In others, this is used more as an ice breaker or way to get people mingling.
Origins of the Term
The idea of key parties emerged in the United States during the late 1960s and early 1970s, amid the sexual revolution. While there is evidence that such parties occur (and we definitely see people hosting and attending them on FetLife), their prevalence has been debated.
Despite their relative rarity, the concept of the key party has been popularized in pop culture. Key parties have been featured in "The Ice Storm," a 1994 novel adapted into a 1997 film, "That '70s Show," and "Mad Men."
Key Party Statistics
- In a 2015 U.S. survey, 11.5% of men and 6.3% of women reported having had group sex.
- A 2018 survey found that about 4% of adults engaged in consensual non-monogamy.
- A small 2016 survey found that 67% of swingers describe themselves as heterosexual, 31% identify as bisexual, and 2% identify as homosexual.
- The same study found that the types of sexual activities swingers engaged in were: threesomes (86%), soft-swinging (72%), swinging (60%), voyeurism (56%), candaulism (42%), exhibitionism (39%), gangbang (33%), same room sex (31%), and sadomasochism (19%).
- Millennials and Gen Zers are less likely to identify as swingers (even if they engage in non-monogamy.)
- A 2024 analysis of search trends by Joy Love Dolls found that Pennsylvania, New York, and Delaware residents showed the most online interest in swinging.
Key Party Q&A
What actually happens at a key party?
What happens at a key party depends on the party and the people involved. Some key parties involve partner swapping and sexual contact, others don't. In general, couples arrive at the party and one partner for each couple places their car keys into a bowl or container. Then, keys are drawn at random. The owner of the keys is then paired off with the person who drew them. Depending on the party, some people may engage in sexual play with their new "partner." Or, it may only be used to spur conversation.
Are key parties still a thing?
Key parties appear to be uncommon, but they do still happen. However, many swingers prefer to choose their partners, rather than having them selected at random.
What are the rules of a key party?
There don't appear to be any universally recognized "rules of a key party." But there do appear to be some common conventions. These include:
- Consent is required. In most cases, participants say drawing someone's keys does not mean anyone is obligated to have sex. People can still decline or sit out.
- Closed groups are preferred. Key parties usually occur among friends or people who have already played together, making the random element less risky.
- Everyone goes home with their own partner. Most swingers say that people usually play at the event but go home with their spouse or partner.
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